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Flow Like a Hummingbird, Sting Like a Queen Bee
Quotes Happy Birthday, Barbara! Ciara: Happy birthday Barbara, Diego and I got this for you. Barbara: (Opens gift) What the fuck is this? Is this some sort of planet or some shit? Ciara: It is a plan... Barbara it's Earth. You learn where all the countries are from. Barbara: Oh man, you gave me an educational thing? I hate learning! Urbi: Barbara, what do you say to Ciara and Diego? Barbara: (hugs Diego and Ciara and mumbles) Thanks guys. Raphael: Open my gift next! Barbara: Ok then. (opens gift) What the... tickets to Foxy Boxing? I might be a bit too young for that. Raphael: Foxy Boxing is where hot girls fight in skimpy outfits and you, me and 2 others are going to go this Friday night. Let's Get Ready to Rumble! Barbara: Ok, even though I was given tickets to this on my birthday, I kinda think this is suitable for perverted men and lesbians. Raphael: Come on Barbara, you should enjoy this. I've invited Jessie and Mandii to this to keep you company. Barbara: Yeah I know, but I don't think Foxy Boxing is my cup of tea. Referee: Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached the time of the evening where one girl fights our state champion, Eileen! Any volunteers? Raphael: Hey sis, wanna fight that bitch Eileen? Barbara: Fuck no, I saw her the other day and insulted the shit out of me. Raphael: Luckily, I brought this mannequin arm from Pineapple Republic. (waves arm) Over here! Referee: Looks like we have our volunteer. (Spotlight flashes onto Jessie) Jessie: What? But I didn't want to do this. 5 minutes later... Eileen: Ha! This is going to be easy as fuck. I've beaten you before, bitch. Jessie: Oh yeah? We'll see about that! (Bell rings) Jessie: So what do I do here? (Eileen punches her) Ow! That hurt! Eileen: Hurts, doesn't it? (Punches Jessie again) Jessie: Son of a bitch, watch it! (Eileen punches Jessie 5 more times) Jessie: Ok you little bitch, that's it! You wanna fuck with Jess.i.ca, LET'S GO!! (Jessie punches Eileen until she hits the ground) Jessie: (grabs Eileen by her hair) No matter what you do for the rest of your life, you'll always be a pile of shit! (punches Eileen in the face) Referee: Eileen has finally been defeated! Jessie Yoshida beats the crap out of her!! Barbara: Holy fuck Jess, that was amazing! Jessie: What can I say? I love to take down the bitches who have tied me up? Round 1 Josh: Ok Jessie, I would like you to put on this blindfold and remove it when we enter the restaurant. Jessie: Ooh, a huge surprise. I like that. 20 minutes later... Jessie: I didn't know the restaurant is crowded. Josh: Yeah, and I didn't know you would look hot in a sports bra and gym shorts. Jessie: What? Josh: You know what, fuck it, I've entered you in the Under 20's Female Boxing and you're up against some foreign chick. (rips Jessie's clothes off, revealing her sports bra and gym shorts) Jessie: (removes blindfold) Josh what the hell? (Bell rings) Josh: Ok Jessie, this girl's first language isn't English, so maybe try and say something in a foreign language, like I dunno French or German. Jessie: (Translated from German) You are such a whore and I want kiss you so bad. Adoriabelle: What did you just say to me!? (Punches Jessie) Josh: Uh, Adoriabelle's from France, it's a different dialect. Jessie: Sorry, I just keep catching all those words from my mom since I was 6. Barbara: Josh, did you know where France was from my globe? Josh: No. Barbara: You knew because of my globe, you dick. Jessie: Oh my god, I have no more feeling in my arms (collapses) Referee: One, two, three... Adoriabelle: Ha Loser! I can't believe I just took down a purple-haired slut. Jessie: (Gets up) What did you just call me!? Oh no you didn't!! (Knocks Adoriabelle down) Fight of Death Part 1 Diane: With a record of 19 consecutive wins, Jessie Yoshida is the state champion of the Under 20s Female Boxing. Jessie, how do you feel now? Jessie: I feel great but after the last match against Pacifica, she hurt my jaw pretty bad, so I've decided to hang up the gloves. Sharita: Well that bitch ain't over yet cause I'm calling a grudge match against her on Saturday night! Ciara: OMG, who's she? Diego: That's the Under 20s State Champion from Wisconsin. I heard that she has sent 6 people to the morgue. In fact, her fists, booty and boobs are so powerful, she's not allowed to be a lesbian. Ciara: Oh my god, so on Saturday Night I'm gonna lose a good friend? Diego: Afraid so. Diane: Say Sharita, I've heard that you have sent half a dozen of your opponents to the morgue. Sharita: Well on Saturday it's going to be seven. Let's just say you don't want to miss Round 9. Fight of Death Part 2 Diane: This is Diane Richards live at the grudge match between Jessie and Sharita. Sir, who do you think's going to win? Jarrod: I dunno, Jessie's a bitch and Sharita's pretty competitive. 5 minutes later... Referee: On the right corner, weighing in at one hundred and .... Sharita: (strangles Referee) You mention my weight, I'll fucking bash you. Referee: Alright, Alright. She is the bad girl with the big booty, Sharita! (70% of the audience starts booing) Referee: And on the left corner, weighing in at 139lbs, The Queen Bee who never gets stung who is literally made in Japan, Jessie! (70% of the audience starts cheering) Referee: Ok girls, let me be clear with the rules, keep it above the belt, no name-calling, no swearing, no eye-gouging and absolutely no kicking. Allrighty, have a fun fight. (Bell dings) Jessie: Well, Sharita has already bitchslapped me on National TV, so this won't be too hard. (Sharita punches Jessie) Jessie: Ow! Bitch! Sharita: Plenty more of that shit when that came from! Round 9 (Ruth holds up the Round 9 card while everyone in the audience boos) Ruth: Everyone please, shut the fuck up! This took a lot of fucking courage! Diane: Well ladies and gents, it's now Round 9, the round Sharita predicted that she will guarantee to send Jessie to the morgue. Will Sharita be able to do it? Let's find out! Josh: Shit, looks like Sharita wants to finish you off. However, I want you to kick her ass! Jessie: Yeah! I'm gonna kick Sharita's fat ass! (Bell dings) Sharita: You're going down Jessie and after I kill you tonight, I'm going to beat the fucking shit out of your father! Jessie: Well, not tonight I'm not! (starts punching Sharita) Sharita: (punches Jessie back and knocks her down) Referee: One, two, three, four, five, six... Ciara: Jessie, stay down! Sharita's just going to rip out one of your arms. Jessie: (gets up) This ain't fuckin over bitch! (knocks out Sharita) Diane: And Jessie wins the fight! (crowd cheers) Jessie: Yeah!!! In your fucking face, fuckwad!! Trivia * This episode is based off the Family Guy Episode Baby You Knock Me Out. * The order Jessie fought in each boxing match is Eileen, Adoriabelle, Sandii, Caitlin, Pacifica (the one who hit Jessie's jaw) and then Sharita. Gallery Coming soon! Category:Season 2 Category:Episodes